I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she peed on how many people?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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