Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize