YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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