My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
