dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
