six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
