Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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