Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
