I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
