tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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