Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
