We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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