now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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