i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
