I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
