If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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