he wants to bone in the snuggie
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
pray to the hookup gods
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
