She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
