im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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