We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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