I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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