I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
