So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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