ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
