I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
