Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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