new low.... made out with someone while peeing
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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