he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
