I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
