that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
