i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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