Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
