I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just high enough for therapy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
