What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
