I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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