he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
