take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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