So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize