WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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