No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize