I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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