I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
