This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
