Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
