He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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