Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
