That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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