My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
