i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
