She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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