i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
