i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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