all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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