he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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