The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think brook has ever known best
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
