i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No subtext here. People are naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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