She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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