you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
