See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
