just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
