i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
