There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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